Thursday, February 22, 2007

Let Sleeping Dogs Lie

Hello from the exhaust pipe of a city that they call Bangkok, which really takes some getting used to. The heat, stench, congestion and disorientation has been a bit tough to stomach both literally and figuratively. As the case with Phuket, the layout of this city is completely non-sensible. They are both cities built wtih eternal dead-end alleyways. One would think that such a large city built around a river would have at least two blocks that are conjoined along the water. I mean, the river walk concept worked for Oklahoma City, why couldn't it work for Bangkok?

In an earlier posting, I talked about the Thai devotion to Buddha. There is also another deity amongst the Thai people that ranks right up there as well. The king, a slightly Mr. Rodgers but browner looking fellow, is absolutely everywhere. He's celebrated 60 years at the top as of a few months ago. Billboards, shrines, music videos, statues, stickers, posters just everywhere. You cannot adjust your gaze without running across another homage. The blue, red and white Thai flag is always complimented with a yellow flag with the king's seal on it. The man has his own rubber bracelet, in the style of the Lance Armstrong foundation. The devotion to royalty makes the Brits look absolutely passive. This king has even inspired the counter fitters to commission his own line of clothing, the yellow polo shirt w/ official emblem - to be worn on the day of his birth, Monday. This is what George Bush's wet dream must look like, with such blind fanatical devotion. Maybe NASCAR attire is Bush's official apparel. Apparently, the king remains a fairly neutral cat, having shrugged off a recent political coup by the military, another thing for Bush to be envious of - a police state. If the king ever got worked up about something, watch out. There's the force of an entire nation behind him. And yes, I could be killed for writing this blog.

Thais, the tuk tuk drivers specifically, seem to be fairly open about public nose picking. I've seen a fair number of two-knuckler gold digging in our short time here. They seem to be using nose picking as a grammatical pause, perhaps to punctuate their sentences. I can't watch long enough to see what results in said exploratory activity, but steer clear of any tuk tuk offered escargot.

Yesterday, we did our first tour of a Wat, or temple. The one that we stumbled upon was a bit odd in that there were the assorted prayer houses, but for the most part, it was cars parked next to one another. I didn't know that monks drove Toyota pickups. Must have been a parking Wat. Today we're charging the Wats like a Buddhist outta hell, knocking off wat seems to be dozens of these holy shrines.

Also, can we discuss the squat toilet concept? What is the real advantage here? It takes twice as much co-ordination and doubles the chances of changing the color of one's shoes and socks. I am glad that I did not grow up as a teenager in Bangkok or my social life would have been shattered on likely many occasions due to clumsiness in these delicate situations. There is already a porcelain fixture being used in these squatoons, why only put them a few inches off the ground? The economical use of a spray hose instead of that oh so soft Charmin toilet paper, I can appreciate, even covet somewhat, but who doesn't like to (pardon the pun) take the load off now and then? Getting off my feet for a few minutes of functional solitude is the highlight of my days, why replace it with an awkward carpet bombing exercise? I'm just trying to remember the good times...

Bangkok is a city of merchants. Every block is lined with people selling their wares, coupled with people to sell food to the people selling wares. Every sidewalk is covered with blankets and cardboard boxes to prop up various knick knack. Storefronts have a sidewalk display of let's say, bootleg DVDs and the store itself is a suit tailor, with a cybercafe in the back. The family and their dog live upstairs or on the floor. It is as if 6 million people got together and decided to hold a flea market every day of the year. Sadly, it doesn't look like many of these people are selling anything. Hard to imagine scraping together a living with just a blanket and some two dollar t-shirts that are the same as the vendor selling them six feet in either direction. Still, the number of homeless begging idly has been very few, everybody's doing or selling something...

Lastly, the dogs in this country seem to have all been sedated. The corners are dotted with at least two dogs lumbering directly in the pat of foot traffic. Maybe their legs and eyelids have been incapacitated due to the heavy pollution. Maybe their the reason that I cannot find a trash can to save the life of me. We've been told that packs of wild dogs are a problem in the more rural areas, hard to see that happening here, I guess only if you're carrying a pillow which they might want. Mostly mutts, but some look as if there is some selective breeding involved. The good folks at Westminster dog show should come here on an outreach mission, hoping to teach these sad, but content, canines some marketable skills.

posted by ncawthon at 6:49 PM