Friday, September 09, 2005

This Just In

On the way to Uni today, we finally heard the long-awaited connection between Hurricane Katrina and an Australian citizen. A tourist from New South Wales was locked up just before the Hurricane hit for... New Orleans' favourite misdemeanor, public drunkenness... shocking! He had to endure the disaster by being transferred between different prisons throughout Louisiana, eventually winding up at a maximum security facility upstate. After two weeks of being incarcerated, he's out and glad to be heading home. Way to represent your continent, dude... there's a cold Stubby in the fridge waiting for you.

posted by ncawthon at 10:17 AM

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Smuggling Budgies

We're getting better accustomed to the alternative use of the English language here in the land of the Aussies. We throw in the extra "u" as needed (see Nick's previous post), and have successfully made the switch from "z" to "s". They seem to go out of their way to spell things funny here.

Also, language patterns begin to emerge after awhile. When sales agents or phone service center workers indicate that they might need some time to deal with your inquiry, they say "won't be a minute" or "won't be a second". I was on the phone with the Telstra (the recently privatized phone company) and the representative must have said "won't be a moment" at least 30 times in our conversation. "Pleazah (Pleasure)", also a big one.

One very peculiar twist is when a common phrase is used to communicate the opposite. "Yeeees" is a natural Aussie rhythmic reflex, a drawn-out "e" being used, but the word itself used in staccato throughout a conversation. Like using "Mmm-hmmm", to signify comprehension. Through time, however, we've noticed that when the locals have to say "No", it's "Yeeeees-No", or "Yeah-no". They just don't let go of that "Yes", even when it's definition has to be reversed.

The Aussies also like to shorten names and create acronyms. The CBD (central business district), RSL (returned servicemen's league), LUG (lock-up garage). Don't shop at David Jones -- shop at D.J.'s. Want a Big Mac? Go to Mackers. But it's the random slang that we are now just starting to hear is the most intriguing.

We've come across the phenomenon of Budgie Smuggling, in literal terms a serious felony offence punishable by up to five years in jail and 100,000 (USD) dollars. The roots of the term dates back several years ago to a Jakartan man named Bulgee Pakageo, who was arrested flying into Sydney International with 52 protected birds in his carry-ons, checked luggage and on his person. When apprehended, he even had birds stuffed down the front of his trousers. Talk about having a feisty little pecker!

Recently, The Beast, our local magazine for the Eastern Beaches area, ran a story about the cold winter ocean water and mentioned something about neighborhood swimmers smuggling budgies. Apparently, this phrase has been something to do with the Australian male's predilection towards wearing tight speedos and the 'implied forms' that might take shape as a result. Picture if you will, Mr. Pakageo's arrangement when caught in the act. As the water gets colder... well, let's stop that joke right there.

posted by Peggy C. at 8:26 PM

Monday, September 05, 2005

Happy Labor Labour Day

We wanted to check in after what has been a week of some intense reflection about the country we just left behind. The flood in New Orleans certainly did not go unnoticed here, as it has filled the news outlets since the beginning of the week. We've be regulated to the online media, clicking and streaming our way to content several times a day. We feel a bit cut-off from the constant CNN feed that we're used to having in times like these. Nonetheless, hours a day are spent browsing through photo galleries and downloading choppy video clips.

Shame is an overarching theme evident in the Australian press, not so much anger (as the domestic press reports) towards a perceived mishandling of the situation, but the notion that we, the U.S., should be ashamed for ignoring cries for help until it was too late.

The Aussies are absolutely starving for a local angle on this. They're trying to find anyone with even the most remote of Australian connection to have been affected by this crisis. Unfortunately for them, not many of the New Orleans flood victims came from the land down under. Visited Australia? Great, you can appear on the national news to help us gain perspective. They certainly do worship their own here.

Whereas you all have the day off on Monday, Aussies wait until the first weekend in October to celebrate Labor Labour Day. Conversely, Father's Day was last weekend, so I guess it all balances out in the end.

posted by ncawthon at 9:03 PM

Sunday, September 04, 2005

The Cycle is Now Complete

This Friday evening, we delivered our much misaligned white goods to a new apartment renter in Western Sydney. After packaging both washing machine and refrigerator together in the same online posting, plus promising free delivery to serious buyers only, we received numerous enquiries via email wanting to purchase the fridge and washing machine from us.

Now, on to the ethical dilemmas involved with selling used items. If one knows that one's refrigerator might be crawling with cokkahs, should one make the best effort possible to sell said refrigeration unit -- does that not justify him/her/us/me of any negative karma? The fridge itself was a fully functional piece of equipment, but it was merely the emotional baggage that it carried after our 'night of squishing' which caused us to re-sell it. Had we not put considerable effort in ridding said refrigeration unit of said cokkahs, it may be a different scenario. But, with our self-appointed purgatory (see details in previous post) in cleaning the unit, my belief is that we had freed ourselves from any wrong doing.

In terms of the washing machine, which was also (to the best of our knowledge) a fully functioning piece of machinery. Just because one's washing machine might be demonically possessed and require one to conduct an impromptu exorcism in order for said washing machine to function at a decibel level suitable for human tolerance, does not mean that the washing machine cannot be resold without the proper caveat. As posted, 'suitable for those with separate laundry room -- runs a bit noisy', which was re-emphasized in person upon delivery as well. Don't have a problem with jackhammer-like noises coming out of your laundry room? Great, this is the machine for you.

So ends this chapter, hopefully. We now have a happily functioning fridge (our third) as well as a quietly running washing machine (our second), no more curbside installations for the neighbors to fume over. We even managed to finish a pint or two in the black, having charged a little more for the delivery of our passed-on white goods. The lesson to be learned in all this, if you are buying or renting or dealing with in anyway a stranger that you contact through the internet, make sure to Google that name, because there could be a blog being written about all the nasty motivations that has lead them to contact you in the first place.

posted by ncawthon at 3:35 PM