Saturday, August 20, 2005

Fridge Debacle : Redux

From the people (well, person) who brought you the washing machine debacle comes the exciting sequel of the fridge maelstrom. Upon picking up the second fridge (first one was free on the curb) we were confident that we had a winner. Inspecting this item the first time we thought, 'Wow, how can anyone live in such squalor... but still, good price on that fridge'. We should have trusted our instincts. Take note, if you buy a used item from a place that is generally a dump, it is going to make that specific item look comparatively better.

Please Note: If you are a bit squeamish and are coming to stay with us for a long period of time, might want to stop reading at this point. Just go on and browse to somewhere else. There. I warned you.

A little of a back story, the girl (another international student from Beijing) who was selling this fridge lived in what could be best described as a crack house in the states. An absolutely filthy place, the kitchen was a dimly lit open room (complete with a bare, flickering light bulb hanging by a cord from the ceiling) with three other fridges packed in it, due to the high population density in this two-story pad. Signs that said, 'Enter at Your Own Risk' were posted to the wall, referring to the entire room in general or perhaps the entire building.

As we were walking out yesterday, I said to Peggy, 'I'm surprised the Fire Marshall hasn't shut that place down'. Imagine the nastiest, most unkempt of fraternity houses you've ever been in, and relocate them to square in the middle of Chinatown. It was student housing at its' absolute worst.

Still, the cost of the fridge was essentially half-off and we were a bit desperate to execute, given our first failure. Now, its' not that we can't just go out and buy a fridge from a shop (which happens tomorrow), but it's that adrenalin rush that one gets from finding a good deal -- it's an addictive feeling. Wal-mart and Target offer small doses of it in a contained, sterile environment... but man, it's livin' life on the streets. Day-to-day, makin your way. Nonetheless, I digress.

So tonight we picked our fridge-to-be up, inspected it again to make sure that it was 'clean', notice the quotation marks on that last word, and put our baby into the back of the trusty Holden. No problems getting it into the wagon, except it was odd that the girl who sold it looked on in an amazed stupor. On the way home we thought, 'Gosh, that fridge sure smells like Chinese food (as it should)', but the Eastern nose is different than the Western nose, metaphorically speaking, and scents that we aren't used to don't necessarily mean a lack of cleanliness. Well, not in this case.

We got the fridge indoors, situated it in the kitchen and it all of the sudden it was like the Trojan Horse times ten. The back of this thing (...just had to get up from writing for a second to stomp something) was absolutely rife with cockroaches. I've never seen anything like this; we had the Dust Buster going overtime and were having quite a bit of trouble even catching up. Many, many, many toilet flushes, cups of bleach, rolls of toilet paper, boxes of Arm & Hammer, stomping of the feet and scrubs of the bristle pad later did we finally get a handle on this thing.

But alas, the damage was done. This fridge wasn't going to last another hour in our place with that kind of emotional baggage attached. With Peggy being a Doctor of Public Health and of sound state of mind, La Cucaracha Motel wasn't long for this town. So now there's two, count 'em two, full-size refrigerators outside our front door and we're still sans a place to chill our beer.

As for our little nuclear-resistant friends, we've taken every measure possible to prevent any unwelcome guests during your tenure here. Should a Cokkah (just made that up, but it sounds Aussie) rear its ugly head, just tell 'em that there is the bottom of a shoe coming his way real soon.

Good times, that's what we're having.

posted by ncawthon at 12:25 AM